Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
