ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
