Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
