I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
