Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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