This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
