i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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