So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
