Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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