lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
