Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
