My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
