It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
