I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
