I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
