I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
