Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
