i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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