I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize