It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize