i don't like sucking hair
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
