Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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