Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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