i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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