I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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