i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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