So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
