I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
