saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
