I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Green mimosas i think yes
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
