this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
