The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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