I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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