So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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