i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
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I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
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Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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