This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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