So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
