somebody snuck up and got me drunk
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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