he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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