Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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