i barfeds in our rink
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
