dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
