you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
