laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize