you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
