The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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