is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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