it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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