i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
