i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
this will be a night to untag.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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