i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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