he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
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