the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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