before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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