i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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