let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize