dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
