Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
