he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
jump out the window naked night went bad
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