She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
