I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
