Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
