where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
