i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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