there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
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and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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